I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
