Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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