im drinking this country out of the recession.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
