I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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