i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
