how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You did what with his pubic hair?
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