These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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