I'm really into asian looking animals
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
