he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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