we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
