So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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