I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
