She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
