i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize