I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
