so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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