Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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