You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
