So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We are two peas in an std pod
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
