Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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