Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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