Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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