Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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