The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
