I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
