I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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