Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
