We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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