I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
