did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
