that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
