We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
