biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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