He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
