We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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