Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize