You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize