Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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