Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's official drugs can't kill me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I FOUND THE LEGS
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
