Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
