No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
