I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
