would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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