you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
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We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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