I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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