i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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