i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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