Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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