so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
