So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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