How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
