dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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