i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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