Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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