Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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