Buhtt sex?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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