Screwed.edu
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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